So sorry chief (Excuses we all have one or spun one )
Yes I will kick this into play. Ive used more excuses than a pregnant nun and we all have ,From the old "Im sorry im late the alarm never went off"to "They are not lumps in the Gravy Chief they are Flavour buds" One of the best excuses that was around in pussers was of the 3 saiolrs fronting up for being adrift for the sake of the story We will call them Bomber ,Spike and of course theres got a be a Nobby in there. Bomber fronts up to the OOD and off caps the OOD says why were you late Chef . Well sir i would have been here on time but my but just at the top of the cross the bus broke down and i had to walk and run the rest of the way i was only late by 5 minutes . The OOD talkes his previous good conduct into account and dismisses the case on caps Right turn Quick march . Spike goes in next and spins the same story. and the OODsays were you on the same bus as ABCK brown . No sir i was on a different bus That also broke down just behind the Bus bomber was on.The OOD finds it a bit shakey but lets Spike of with a stern Warning as he was only 10 minutes Late on caps right Turn . Nobby fronts up next and the OOD says before you say any thing Dont tell me your Bus broke down or i will throw the book at you . Oh no sir I drove my car this morning . well said the OOD how come your late.When i Was coming through the Cross the road was blocked by 2 broken down buses Thats why im late sir Case dismissed on caps right turn Quick march. That story was doing the rounds and probably still is today a good dit with plenty of variations over the years but still the basic same dit i heard when i joined in the 70s .Id like to think the were cooks fronting up sounds like a quick dit was required and these cooks come up trumps . So there you have it lets know all your excuses and the ones used on you Keep well all Regards quinny .

Quinny You reminded me of a time I was Kellick cook in charge of a watch in the wardroom at Watson. Sometimes to live up a duty watch we would practise cricket in the galley using a paddle and alfoil as a ball. As most of us who have played the odd game of Galley cricket know the alfoil ball gets rock hard after a few good hits. Well it wasn't long and sure enough the ball broke a galley window. I cooked up this story to tell the Chief that a mop handle had done the said damage. while scrubbing out. I practised my story until I almost believed it myself. Come the hand over the next morning the chief said "what happened to the window?" I spun my dit, the Chief pushed his cap back on his head and said "If you cant come up with a better story than that I will run you in" So I said we broke it playing cricket he smiled and said thats good enough! No charges you Beauty!

Back in my Wran days, I knew a Lt Commander (who I shall not name, great chap) who when listening to excuses, would always (if not a serious charge) let the offender off if he had not heard the story/excuse before.

Galley cricket Yes barry the alfoil balls got hard after a few wacks. You were pussies up at Watson down at the tross we used oranges. Paddles for bats and meatboats for wickets .I remember Zero Graham skying a ball and smashing a fluro We all shut up about it and it was years before some one realised that fluro was gone. We had blue trolleys to bring the stores over from the victualing Office and i said to rastes one weekend can you go and get something from the starvos and take the trolley with you. We had just done a scrub out and Rastes Rode the trolley like a scooter As ya do down the back aisle of the Main and when he tried to take the corner the chiefs office he Came unstuck and run it in to Chiefs office window . Course the window broke and another story to make up .If there was ever any one that could get you into more shit than Batman it was Rastes I was the senior Ab in the watch and on HDA in charge of Rastes Talk about the blind leading the blind .

The Great Spoggie Hunt , Cerb main cafe . Sat/Sun arvo , trays of pots from the back door of the boozer , design and make your own shanghai, small lead sinkers for ammo and the hunt was on . Lot of fluros died , a couple of window panes got mystery holes , not many sparrows got killed , but great fun . :grin: Then Noddy smuggled in an air rifle ......??? :eek: Then it was an air rifle with a scope on it .....?? :? Then it was a scoped .22 with a silencer ...?? !!!!!!!!!! :shock: Then I put the foot down !!!!!!!!!!! :evil:

Small lead sinkers ya say Jaffa Probably supplied by sinkers whatley LOL .

are you going to bring the shanghai and lead pellets to the reunion? :lol: maybe able to set up a shooting gallery and make few bob with tinnies for the prizes .. certainly a lot of cane toads up here in qld for target practice. wont be long now until the big event only 16 sleeps . hope i dont blot my copy book before then and get a stoppage and jankers. :oops: cheers johnno

Cliffy , dont know if you knew Noddy Nordburg , but a 40/60 Bofor was probably on the list . Did like things that went Bang , did Noddy . He and a couple of other Cheffies ( Steve 'Snotty' Cleary comes to mind ) , rented a place over-looking Frankston beach . Noddy's great fun was sniping shit hawks from out of the air off the balcony . Imagine , lovely summers day , Mum's handing out lunch to her sun burnt brood ..........and a dead or badly injured shit hawk drops out of the air into the esky !! Pandemonium!!!!! Yet another legend of the White Mafia . 8) Oh , and get back on subject you lot !!! :P

What was the subject us cooks tend to dribble on a tad but all fun wouldn't know i was on the site if someone wasn't taking the piss out of someone . Yes i remember noddy is he coming to the reunion Does any one know his whereabouts?

It's funny until someone gets hurt.............Then it's bloody hilarious!!!!!

Hey Jaffa me old bucket, I reckon one of the cheffies you are refering too in the Frankston house would have to be Greg Judd. Juddie was a doozie,always playing with his guns and between him and Noddy would blast holes in the walls and then cover them up with some of the best smut going around.Always a pleasure going around there after lunch when they were 24 off.

You got it Bernie, bloody Juddy !!! Between the two of them they controlled more fire power than West Head . :shock: Which one of them was it that Pussers actually gave a loaded 9mm Browning to and made him pay sentry ? :eek: ... Surprise , surprise ...at 000dark hours the pay sentry looses of half a mag at "persons unknown" . Scared the shit out of the possums , the QM and Bosuns Mate on the Main Gate and the Assist OOD (young Middie doing his rounnds on pushbike). Good happened though , Cheffies were banned from doing pay sentry afterwards . " Physicologically un-suited " was the reason given . :twisted: Crazy bastards was also mentioned by the Gunnery Branch !! So " Wasn't me chief , I'm crazy!!" There you go , back on subject 8)

Now jaffa im still pissing myself Physiologically Unsuited Yeah thats me aLright Im gunna use that line on the mrs when she asks me to do something. Can you you just imagine Karen .Can you go out and hang the washing out ? No f''''''n way im Physiologically unsuited for that task . Now thats a good excuse and we are back on track now Im tipping ill only try that excuse once on the long suffering Karen .But worth a try. To be truthful theres a few that i wouldn't trust with a water pistol let a lone a rifle or any thing the shot bullets .